Sometimes, when I try to put my feelings about Peggy on paper.......
The words will not come.
The words and feelings are running around in my mind but never make it to my fingers.
Sometimes, my feelings about watching my sister disappear want to stay inside of me and stay private.
Sometimes, I know that if I write what I am feeling.....
The tears will start and I won't be able to stop them. I fear that all my tears will wash me away.
Today is a day like that.
Today is a day when my feelings about Peggy are just mine.
To write them would be mingled will all of the sorrow of my life time. My feelings are all mixed up today. I wouldn't be able to separate which are about Peggy and which belong to another place in my heart.
I just know that my heart is full today.
Full of all the tears of a lifetime.
This is the kind of day that I would call Peggy on the phone and say...
Can you talk? She would always say, sure and the conversation would start. I could tell her what I was feeling and just knowing she was listening would make me feel better.
On a day like today...
I miss my sister, Peggy. I miss being able to share my tears with her. I miss her encouragement. I miss her voice.
I am missing my forever friend today and she doesn't even know.
One of the most hurtful feelings that I am dealing with today is that....
I know that where she is in this disease...
She doesn't even care.
I miss her caring and I miss Peggy. Especially today when my feelings are running around in my head and there is no Peggy on the other end of the phone line.
I Love You Today, Peggy!
I miss you Peggy.