Wednesday, April 5, 2006

FROZEN IN TIME

I talked with Peggy the other evening. I should say that I talked to her and she said "huh" in a small voice.

I wish that she could respond when I tell her that I love her but she cannot.

I was looking at some photographs of us the other day. Photographs that showed smiling faces and warm eyes.

In the photographs, we are frozen in time.

In Peggy's world, she is frozen in time.

Peggy does not know of September 11th or the war in Iraq.

She doesn't know of the sadness caused by Katrina or the other storms that blasted the Gulf.

She is frozen in a world of the moment.

Time means nothing to her and what is happening in the world does not touch her heart. 

Peggys world was frozen in time the day that Alzheimer's  covered her mind with the ice and snow of the disease.

Maybe, it is better for her to know no pain or sorrow.

Maybe, she is better off to have missed the sorrow of the past 5 years.

Could being frozen in time be a good place to be?

I don't think it is because when you miss the pain and sorrow, you also miss the joy and happiness that is always on the other side.

I have added a picture of us when we were frozen in time. The first day of Summer vacation from school.

A place of youth when we were cared for by our parents.

I look at us back then and know that we will always be frozen in that place in that photograph.

A carefree place that I can always visit in my memory.

I hurt that Alzheimer's disease has taken that privilege from Peggy.

She can never go back in her memory to the special places where we lived and laughed.

I feel sorrow for her but she doesn't share my sorrow because she is....

Frozen in time.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

6 comments:

luvinmythreeboyz said...

You are a pillar of love.. happiness.. strenth and so much more I admire you and your loving ways tword your sister.. Heather

barbpinion said...

Peggy is so blessed to have you for a sister.
Love & prayers too
Barb- http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK

mgmturner said...

I just recently followed a link to your journal from a friend's journal and I would just like to thank you for sharing your heart so openly.  Your words paint a vivid description of the thief named alzheimer's and the depth of your love for your sister touches my heart in ways you can't imagine.  God bless you.
Gwynn

wendy4145 said...

True.  It does depend on how  you look at it.  Peggy doesn't have the joy of memories or special times... but she has been spared the details of today and other  pain.  It is both sad, but good in another way.  I know she's a special person who's very sweet.  Because she seemed to be enjoying her day even in a state that most people would tend  to be unpleasant.  Nothing can take away what God has created in Peggy.  God is more powerful than disease.  Even if he heals her HIS way instead of our way.  Your memories together are facts that will last into eternity.
love,
Wendy

magogos said...

Peggy is blessed to have you, even though she does not know it. Your love and strength and couragecarries her memory so strongly that I'm in awe. Margo

nariyounis said...

A friends beloved grandmother has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's & so I googled some information & came across this link. Let me just say that to us, not knowing of time and world events such as 9/11 is incomprehendeble; a tragic thought. But to your dear sister, this may be a good thing in disguise, her heart doesn't ache. Your writing is so thoughtful and touching; I teared up. I am not one to read blogs but to me this was more informative, resourceful, touching, and thought revoking. Thank you for sharing, I added you on as my favorites.