I talked with Peggy the other evening. I should say that I talked to her and she said "huh" in a small voice.
I wish that she could respond when I tell her that I love her but she cannot.
I was looking at some photographs of us the other day. Photographs that showed smiling faces and warm eyes.
In the photographs, we are frozen in time.
In Peggy's world, she is frozen in time.
Peggy does not know of September 11th or the war in Iraq.
She doesn't know of the sadness caused by Katrina or the other storms that blasted the Gulf.
She is frozen in a world of the moment.
Time means nothing to her and what is happening in the world does not touch her heart.
Peggys world was frozen in time the day that Alzheimer's covered her mind with the ice and snow of the disease.
Maybe, it is better for her to know no pain or sorrow.
Maybe, she is better off to have missed the sorrow of the past 5 years.
Could being frozen in time be a good place to be?
I don't think it is because when you miss the pain and sorrow, you also miss the joy and happiness that is always on the other side.
I have added a picture of us when we were frozen in time. The first day of Summer vacation from school.
A place of youth when we were cared for by our parents.
I look at us back then and know that we will always be frozen in that place in that photograph.
A carefree place that I can always visit in my memory.
I hurt that Alzheimer's disease has taken that privilege from Peggy.
She can never go back in her memory to the special places where we lived and laughed.
I feel sorrow for her but she doesn't share my sorrow because she is....
Frozen in time.
I Love You Today, Peggy!