Thursday, October 30, 2003

The Long Goodbye

P. J. ( left) is dying from Alzheimer's Disease.

We were always very close.

It is so very hard to see her disappearing before my eyes.

I call her every morning and have since she was diagnosed 2 years ago.

She is slipping away fast and now calls me "Aunt Louise."

I struggle with losing her.

I miss her more than I can write.

Only people who have experienced this living death can understand what I am feeling.

I am saying goodbye to her every day and I always say before I hang up...I Love you, Today P. J and she will say...I love you too but can't remember my name any more.

I love you P J...My Sister...My Friend!

6 comments:

libbyvol said...

Even if she doesn'y know she is cherished, her friends will through your sharing. Our prayers are with you and P.J. every day. Libby

wendy4145 said...

Mary Louise,

I know it must be very hard dealing with alzheimers and loing your baby sister. I know it would crush me if I lost my sister. You have been strong and brave to write the journal and share your experience with others.

I am proud of you. I am praying for you, BJ, her family and your other sisters.

God be with you all.
Love,
Wendy

cjdblevins said...

Louise,
Very touching commentary. I would not have recognized Peggy. But I have not seen her in decades I suppose.
this blog is a good idea.
thanks for sharing.
Carolyn Bl

mrscheesestix said...

Did you ever hear that saying " I complained I had no shoes, until I met a man with no feet?" Sometimes my days seem so hard because I have a child with Tourettes Syndrome. Its not drastic or life threatening but it still drains my heart and soul. My heart goes out to you and your family. I have no shoes but you have no feet. I will say a prayer for your sister. My latest entry in my journal is called 'Be Thankful' you may find it comforting.

csfgirl1 said...

I know what your going thru...My dad is slowing disappearing too.  It i soo sad to see.  Just hang in there and be strong she is going to heaven!!!

sugerb6 said...

Hi Mary Louise,
In all honesty I have to tell you I have  had your journal on my favorites for more than six months now. I had to find the courage within myself to get past the title of your journal before I could read it. My dad lost his youngest brother to this terrible disease it was devastating to say the least. The reason I needed courage to read your journal is because I watched my youngest sister disappear to cancer. We lost her 15 months ago, her funeral was on her 44th birthday. I hope you don't mind if I read your journal from the beginning and go forward to the present time because I feel that is the only way you get to know someone better. I do not have a journal but my daughter does and introduced me to journals after I lost my lil sis. I must say it has helped me through the grief one day at a time.
Debbie