Saturday, January 5, 2008

MY TEACHER...MY SISTER

THE NEW YEAR OF 2008.

ANOTHER YEAR OF DEALING WITH THE DISAPPEARANCE OF PEGGY.

ANOTHER YEAR OF TRYING TO MAKE SOME SENSE OF IT.

ANOTHER YEAR OF WATCHING HER DISAPPEAR.

ALL IS NEVER LOST OR FOR NOTHING..

MY, OH MY, WHAT I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT MYSELF AS PEGGY CONTINUES HER LONG JOURNEY.

I HAVE STUBBORNLY HELD ON TO THE OLD PEGGY, NOT WANTING HER TO GO.

I HAVE PRAYED, CRIED AND REMEMBERED BUT SO FAR HER JOURNEY INTO ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE CONTINUES.

SOMETIMES, WHAT WE WANT, IS NOT WHAT IS THE BEST FOR US.

BECAUSE OF PEGGY'S JOURNEY, I AM A BETTER PERSON.

I HAVE LEARNED THAT HOLDING ON IS NOT ALWAYS THE KIND OR HEALTHY THING TO DO.

I WILL KEEP HER CLOSE WITH OPEN HANDS NOW.

PEGGY'S JOURNEY AND MINE WILL CONTINUE IN 2008.

WHAT WILL I LEARN THIS NEW YEAR BECAUSE PEGGY CONTINUES TO DISAPPEAR?

I HOPE THAT I WILL LEARN THAT I AM NOT IN CONTROL...... NEVER HAVE BEEN AND NEVER WILL BE........I WILL LEARN TO LET GO. WHEN I HANG ON, I CANNOT GROW.

I AM HERE TO LEARN, CHANGE AND GROW IN WAYS THAT I NEVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE.

 AND PEGGY WILL CONTINUE TO BE MY TEACHER.

 

I LOVE YOU TODAY, PEGGY!

I MISS YOU.

MARY LOUISE

4 comments:

pharmolo said...

What worse loss than that of a loved one that is still with us...

lsfp1960 said...

This is such a sad disease.  I understand usually there's a healthy body but a confused mind.  I watched a movie over the holidays with James Garner and Gina Rowlands about this subject.  So very sad for your family to go thu.  Take care, Mary Louise...Linda in Washington state

wendy4145 said...

As long as God is with us, there is hope.

Love,
Wendy

ajquinn354 said...

Mary Louise, very profound works you've written about Peggy and also your journey in getting through this. You can't change what is for your dear Sis Peggy as much as you and all of us wish you could and Peggy wants you to continue to live and enjoy life.....as all Sis' want that for their Sis'.  Keep Peggy always close in heart, but allow yourself to move forward dear. Arlene (AJ)