Thursday, May 17, 2007

I WISH.....

I received some new pictures of Peggy yesterday. Her husband is always good about sending them to me.

I am glad to get them but they always make me cry. Not because she looks awful but because I miss her so much.

I see the picture of my sister and know that she doesn't remember who I am.

She is still beautiful in a vacant kind of way. Her smile is still big and bright but the essence of who she was..... is gone.

I am thankful that she isn't in any kind of pain, physically or mentally.

I wish that I had a magic wand to wave over her head.

I wish that I was a brilliant researcher who discovered a cure today.

I wish that I could restore the smile in her eyes.

I wish that I could....But I can't!

Peggy just is.........    And.......

I miss my sister.

I Love You Today, Peggy!

Mary Louise

7 comments:

joan3424 said...

Mary Louise,  Is Peggy still living at home?   Joanie in Beavercreek

wendy4145 said...

Yes.  Peggy is beautiful.  I can see how hard it is to see her pictures and want to help her back to her life's memory.  Keep wishing and dreaming of how you can help.... and you will get a shot at your wish/dreams coming true.

Love,
Wendy

magogos said...

She is still so beautiful, and so young. I can understand why you cry. Margo

louis929 said...

Mary Louise: Peggy does indeed still look beautiful, but it's not hard to miss the vacant eyes.  My late husband retained his good looks but his eyes looked exactly the same.  Before Alzheimer's, his eyes "danced", especially when he looked at me.  In fact, my favorite song for him was called "I saw the Love in your eyes".  It's not a very well known song.  We first heard it by an international singer by the name of Vicky Leandros.  I had the album in an old vinyl record as it was recorded in the late 70's.  When we were dating, I played it for him and he also fell in love with it.  

When he was in the late stages of Alz., I wanted so bad to hear the song, but realized I had given away my vinyl records when CD players came out.  We also did not have a receiver any longer.  I searched all over to see if it may have been redone in CD form.  The singer actually has a website, and I found a CD of her hit recordings on Amazon.  I ordered it, only to find out all the songs were recorded in German.  I don't understand German and was so disappointed.  

To make a long story short, I was browsing in Border's one day and could not believe my eyes.  I picked up a CD by an Irish artist by the name of Daniel O'Donnell and the song was on it, and in English.  It's beautiful and I listen to it a lot.  Even though it makes me weep, I always think of my husband's "dancing" and expressive eyes.  The last photo we took together was about a year and a half before he died.  Even though he was smiling, his eyes had a hazy look, similar to Peggy's.

I know this got kind of "wordy", but I just wanted to share.

Blessings, Kathy L.

rha4497496 said...

Mary Louise,  I cried this morning when I read your entry.  Your sister is beautiful and so are you.  I have a wonderful sister also that I would feel the same way about if this were to happen to her, so I understand your pain and grief.  I think about you and Peggy often, honey.  I continue to pray for you both.  Much Love, Robyn

s0ngbird1962 said...

Was thinking of you today & decided to stop by.....

My prayers continue to be with you and Peggy, what an increidble hard journey..... Your journal, your words about the struggles of Alzheimer's are a great tribute of you love for her...

lacaza3 said...

oh mary my heart hurts for you...to watch someone disappear its like a slow death.. my grandfather had the same disease...nothing I can say makes it better...
I'm sorry for your pain
donna In TEXAS